She wondered if he was already tired of her, if he would rudely push her away as one would a prostitute. ‘Well, she’d better learn fast if she wants any truck with me. As in all things, so his thoughts came to him deliberately. It was always jabbing him with white-hot barbs, waking or sleeping. Every movable mirror had been placed here, to discourage vanity, and since no whitewash covered the brocaded purple wallpaper, its pervasive hue gave an added sense of heaviness to the crowded chamber. Ah, if I had written that!" "Don't you want to live?" "I don't know; I really don't know. Your mother, for what it’s worth to you—for there’s nothing for you here, by God!—was the woman I chose for Nicholas. What else could he do? You can’t kick up a scene on the spur of the moment in the face of such conflicting values as he had before him. . She moaned as he buried himself completely to the hilt.
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