She felt that there was a hidden meaning under his words. ‘But that is easy. ” “Were you sexually abused? Was it a miscarriage?” “No. Conscientious objectors to that process are not permitted, she found, in Canongate. For a few minutes, she appeared scarcely sensible of his presence. She moved then, fast, taking refuge behind a Chinese screen that was set beside the four-poster at the back of the room. It plucked shingles from the school building, threatening to shake them all loose one by one like rotting teeth. To-morrow, when she returned to Hong-Kong, she would purchase a simple but modern dress. She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. So presently they got into a hansom together, and Ann Veronica sat back feeling very luxurious and pleasant, and looked at the light and stir and misty glitter of the street traffic from under slightly drooping eyelids, while Ramage sat closer to her than he need have done, and glanced ever and again at her face, and made to speak and said nothing. In a voice husky with suppressed despair, she answered. “But why now? Don’t boys know that I am involved with John right now?” “That’s not the way it works, Lucy. She felt the thrill race through her body.
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